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  • A farmer hates harvesting spring chickens because their springs make them too bouncy to catch.
  • A chicken's head can't look at how its body is running around.
  • A sailor buys his mermaid girlfriend fishnet stockings, but she gets tangled in them.
  • Martha Stewart told the doctor who delivered her to save her umbilical cord to make into a meaningful wall hanging.
  • A fish can't sleep because a boat transporting Rice Krispies sank near his bed.
  • The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe now lives in a Nike sneaker.
  • Two snails see a slug and think that streaking went out in the 1970s.
  • A tree gets cut down, revealing that she was lying about her age.
  • A louse is impressed at the height of Cosmo Kramer's cooties' home.
  • Adam sees another girl in Eden and wants to turn over a new leaf.
  • A cannibal on a desert island has to eat himself to survive.
  • Don King is horrified to have a good hair day.