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  • Cottage cheese comes from uncleaned gutters.
  • Prince Albert is annoyed that people always call when he's in the can.
  • Pinocchio falls in love with a tree.
  • A tree falls and no one hears it.
  • Scotty beams Captain Kirk's toilet paper away.
  • A farmer hates harvesting spring chickens because their springs make them too bouncy to catch.
  • A chicken's head can't look at how its body is running around.
  • A sailor buys his mermaid girlfriend fishnet stockings, but she gets tangled in them.
  • Martha Stewart told the doctor who delivered her to save her umbilical cord to make into a meaningful wall hanging.
  • A fish can't sleep because a boat transporting Rice Krispies sank near his bed.
  • The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe now lives in a Nike sneaker.
  • Two snails see a slug and think that streaking went out in the 1970s.