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  • Godzilla monster on beach asks other Zilla if it wants a lifesaver while walking by lifeguard station.
  • Squashed slice of bread tells other slices how it was injured by supermarket grocery bagboy with quart of milk.
  • All the King’s men eat cake baked with Humpty Dumpty egg at funeral.
  • Cat on laptop learns to drive pet owners insane on cat advice website by ignoring treats dropped by foot.
  • Pizza waiting to sign autographs is disappointed he’s not as famous as pizzeria sign said.
  • Dog leaving busy bar says its nose is exhausted from smelling other dogs’ butts.
  • Cartoon characters from Peanuts, Marmaduke, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Chip and Dale, Deadpool, Felix the Cat, R. Crumb and Lego get treatment from the Betty Rubble Center for Recovering Toons.
  • Cat parent scolds kitten child at dinner table for finishing all its food.
  • Glass of water confesses sins to water purifier pitcher priest in church confessional.
  • Shopper birds pushing grocery carts catch worms at Whole Foods parody supermarket.
  • Woman at bar thinks dull Star Wars Han Solo bragging about car’s fast food run is only so-so.
  • Camel’s date is not impressed when he says her hump is fat, not water.