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  • A dog doesn't like having to download and print a newspaper because it takes too long to make somewhere to poop.
  • Mark takes the day off and lets his family come up with cartoon ideas.
  • A man buys a headache detector to see if his wife is lying about wanting to have sex.
  • People go to a movie called Hairy Potter about a hairy man who does gardening.
  • The Pentagon, the WWF, and Jerry Springer collaborate on a project to launch folding chairs from a cannon.
  • Puppies buy newspapers from a dispenser to use as toilets.
  • A man drinks a pitcher of light beer and has to pee immediately.
  • A declawed cat buys a reclawing kit so he can claw his owner's couch again.
  • A spider uses a caterpillar as a sectional.
  • A dog wants to be the pre-rinse cycle for a woman's dirty dishes.
  • A king has trouble choosing a name for his domain because they're already taken.
  • Housecats go outside for the first time.