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  • A woman lies outside to get a tan, but her painters drop paint on her instead.
  • An egg does a cannonball into a pool, facilitating the invention of egg drop soup.
  • A dog tells another dog that cacti are sort of like trees and sort of like fire hydrants, but that he should stay away from them.
  • A spider wants to link his web site with another spider to increase their traffic.
  • Godzilla won't eat a butcher shop because he's a plant eater.
  • A dog doesn't like having to download and print a newspaper because it takes too long to make somewhere to poop.
  • Mark takes the day off and lets his family come up with cartoon ideas.
  • A man buys a headache detector to see if his wife is lying about wanting to have sex.
  • People go to a movie called Hairy Potter about a hairy man who does gardening.
  • The Pentagon, the WWF, and Jerry Springer collaborate on a project to launch folding chairs from a cannon.
  • Puppies buy newspapers from a dispenser to use as toilets.
  • A man drinks a pitcher of light beer and has to pee immediately.