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  • A woman says she doesn't want a one-night stand, so a man thinks they'll have a two-night stand.
  • A man wants ice for his drink on the Titanic.
  • Ants only visit their mom on sundaes.
  • A football player knows the opposing team will go deep because one of them is wearing scuba gear.
  • A chicken psychic predicts that another chicken will excel in health care, and later the chicken becomes soup and helps with a man's cold.
  • Godzilla eats a car with double airbags.
  • Construction concrete blocks socialize, with one introducing himself as "very supportive," another looking for a "concrete relationship," and another eyeing the "hard body" of a cinder block.
  • Humpty Dumpty stands in the Horror section of a bookstore, featuring titles such as "Humpty Dumpty Eats Quiche," "Breakfast Ideas," and "101 Quiches."
  • Man in shower wonders about the last time the water was tested for lead because he has several pencils stuck in his face.
  • Boa constrictor with a big, full belly sits at desk, and upon learning about the arrival of another salesman, agrees to squeeze one more in.
  • Cat reads a book about learning to walk on a tight rope because there are lots of birds resting on the electrical wires outside.
  • Wife sneezes twice, so one man tells friend that she sneezes in pairs, while friend worries about the pears in the fruit bowl.