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  • Woman checks smartphone app to see how much man spent on her Christmas gifts.
  • Cat walks by woman leaving Christmas gift of shedded fur on her pant legs.
  • Man decorating tree tells family not to move until Christmas because he got all the lights to work.
  • Stocking filled with Christmas gifts says to another that it always puts on weight during the holidays too.
  • Stocking hung by fire says gesundheit to one that has sneezed Christmas gifts all over room.
  • Decorations disagree about who has the scariest spot on the tree, the star on top or a glass ball on the bottom being hit by a cat.
  • Christmas tree on laptop is caught by wife looking at internet porn of naked tree with no leaves.
  • Woman is surprised that her date’s apartment is in a television studio with a live audience.
  • Man watching TV wonders who came up with tiny house trend but smug cat in box knows it was him.
  • Bob Dylan uses an electric powered lawnmower to cut the grass.
  • Sleeping woman’s pets suddenly appear at her bed as soon as she stirs.
  • Rock band’s new song is “time to take a bathroom break.”