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  • Big eyes bathroom door’s funny blank face impression of vacant rest room is amusing impersonation.
  • Excited dog runs to pee on tree in park who expects a warm friendly greeting.
  • Pet’s distant, detached, dismissive mantra gone when excited kitty’s dad returns home.
  • Kid asks upset father what’s the matter & he says someone somewhere has air conditioner on with open windows.
  • Distressed kitty in therapy tells psychiatrist it thought to claw scratching post instead of couch, puke on linoleum instead of rug & shed less pet hair.
  • Neatly folded flat sheet at party wishes disheveled sheet lump date was more presentable.
  • Stinky planet farting in bed tells complaining wife she knew he was gas giant when they married.
  • Bird on sofa asks if they should watch true crimes squirrel birdfeeder robbery T.V. show
  • Naughty kitty pushes startled awake lady’s morning cup of joe off kitchen table.
  • Dog peeing on tree shocked when inappropriate Dr. Seuss Lorax says tree enjoys warm urine.
  • Ninja Sloth steals lawnmower & shaves man bald to protect flowers & nature in No Mow May.
  • Annoyed tortoise parent shaking crumbs out of son’s shell scolds him for snacking in bed.