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  • Dog breaks New Year’s resolutions to be careful where puts cold nose, shocks showering owner sniffing nude bum.
  • Scared gingerbread men audience watches gory broken cookies ungreased baking pan horror movie.
  • Doctor diagnoses chimney soot covered Santa Claus’ Christmas season flue flu illness.
  • Surprised Santa Claus gave himself large screen television Christmas present.
  • Dad says pet dog Christmas present box is comforter for child’s bed.
  • Chanukah dreidel tells insomniac dreidel spinning in bed warned it to slow down at party.
  • Christmas trees artists class draws ornaments undressed naked tree modeling.
  • Reindeer in bed plugs smartphone charging cable to asleep Rudolph bulb outlet nose.
  • Xmas mall Santa Claus tells women when asleep wool blanket makes her sweat & drools laying on stomach.
  • Decorated ninja sloth suddenly takes missing Christmas ornaments off empty tree.
  • Worm puking mother fills baby birds’ Christmas stocking stuffer gifts at fireplace mantle.
  • Doctor assures Christmas tree that red dangly things are common symptoms this time of year.