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  • A Christmas tree buys an artificial tree like a person would buy a blow-up doll.
  • Godzilla eats too much fiber and has to retreat to the woods to poop.
  • A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
  • A worm likes living on a baseball field, except for the wet tobacco rain.
  • A pirate has a wooden leg and a tree has a person leg.
  • Mice are surprised the place they're looking at is a hole in the wall.
  • The last leaf on a tree wonders if the other leaves left because of his bad breath.
  • A homeless cat wants to pee on the rug and claw the furniture of a woman who feeds it.
  • Spiders want to eat a giant fly off the top of an exterminator's van.
  • A man is surprised that a store has a lifetime guarantee, but his life is about to end.
  • Summer is ending, so seagulls are sad their beach targets will be leaving.