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  • A cat sings a cat version of a Nat King Cole song.
  • A cat in heaven says he should have been suspicious about being put to sleep, because he never needed help sleeping.
  • A kitten's parents are proud because he had his first meows, first steps, and first human blood.
  • A fish encourages another fish to get on a hook because body piercing is chic.
  • A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
  • A cat hasn't slept in two hours, so he goes to therapy.
  • A man wears a nicotine patch while his cat wears a catnip patch.
  • Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
  • A homeless cat wants to pee on the rug and claw the furniture of a woman who feeds it.
  • A cat thinks chocolate mousse is a very well-blended chocolate mouse.
  • A dog chained outside gets resentful when his owner hums 'Unchained Melody.'
  • Lions eat Caesar for the first Caesar sald ever.