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  • Only interview questions for dog being hired for office job are “Are you a good boy? Are you?”
  • Woman catches cat taking bribe money to scratch sofas from furniture delivery man.
  • Man tells wife at breakfast table that dog in skis on hill out window is determined to catch squirrel this year.
  • Dogs laugh at embarrassed dog in sweater walking on leash but shiver freezing cold after he is gone.
  • Woman adopting pet from animal shelter is asked if wants to be loved unconditionally or ironically by friendly excited or cool aloof dogs in kennel.
  • Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur couple wears arm extensions to hug each other on Valentine’s Day.
  • Origin of hibernation is bear husband pretending to sleep when wife asks what its Valentine’s Day present is.
  • Dog’s secret admirer dumped garbage can out on doorstep for Valentine’s Day.
  • Lonely man sitting on couch with cat asks if it loves him and it jumps up leaving a valentine heart of shed hair on his shirt.
  • Dog fetches tennis ball to woman in store’s returns window.
  • Dachshund complains pizza slice dog wouldn’t understand being compared to a hot dog.
  • Cat cashier calls for price of mouse traps while embarrassed cat hides face.