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  • A woman's cat latches onto her hand and gets stuck when she tries to give it a belly rub.
  • A tiger is chasing a man and he has to decide if it's enough of an emergency to use the emergency exit.
  • The Cheshire Cat's photo album is pictures of just his teeth.
  • A kid wearing Mickey Mouse ears wanders into an alley full of cats.
  • A woman isn't worried about getting spills on her clothes because there's cat hair stain guarding them.
  • The cat dictionary doesn't have a word for 'obey,' while the dog dictionary lacks 'aloof.'
  • A cat sings a cat version of a Nat King Cole song.
  • A cat in heaven says he should have been suspicious about being put to sleep, because he never needed help sleeping.
  • A kitten's parents are proud because he had his first meows, first steps, and first human blood.
  • A fish encourages another fish to get on a hook because body piercing is chic.
  • A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
  • A cat hasn't slept in two hours, so he goes to therapy.