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  • Optimist snow physician tells melting snowman puddle on scale fortunately he’s losing water weight.
  • Snowman New Years Eve party host scooping holes in guest’s snow bum says they ran out of ice but are making do.
  • Alcoholic drink at bar is shocked by censored dirty martini’s filthy sexual pick up line swearing.
  • Gossiping candy canes say candy lady dating rich lollypop driving convertible found a sugar pop.
  • Santa Claus in sleigh thinks incompetent elf unevenly filling heavy, light & empty toy bags was grocery employee before.
  • Kitty hangs fishnet tights Christmas stockings by fireplace for Santa to fill with tasty fishes presents.
  • Judgmental Christmas trees at bar say clustered ornaments hair tree is hiding a bald spot.
  • Shaving company complains bearded Santa Claus hired to promote razors but contract didn’t say shave face.
  • Xmas reindeer squint to read dim restaurant menus but Rudolph’s handy nose light helps him see in dark.
  • Wasted drunken Xmas reindeer Rudolph mistakes lighted red stop signal for father’s glowing nose.
  • Chanukkah dreidel at bar orders same cocktail as spinning top but without the twist.
  • Naughty kitty on laptop hacks owner’s pets names website password to order mice, catnip, empty boxes & tuna fish.