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  • 1999-09-051999-09-05
    1999-09-05
    The real reason the Universe is expanding is because it eats too much ice cream.
  • 1999-09-041999-09-04
    1999-09-04
    A man whose wife just had twins has an IV of coffee to stay awake.
  • 1999-09-031999-09-03
    1999-09-03
    A spider eats bran cereal for faster web downloads.
  • 1999-09-011999-09-01
    1999-09-01
    Donald Trump kicked over sandcastles to build his own as a kid.
  • 1999-08-311999-08-31
    1999-08-31
    A tired flower regrets marrying a morning glory.
  • 1999-08-281999-08-28
    1999-08-28
    A woman on a date with an ugly man says she refuses to be an accomplice to passing on his genes.
  • 1999-08-251999-08-25
    1999-08-25
    A pumpkin's resume is a fairy tale.
  • 1999-08-221999-08-22
    1999-08-22
    The USS Enterprise escapes from a worm hole in an apple, but flies into a giant's mouth.
  • 1999-08-211999-08-21
    1999-08-21
    A woman takes her son to the doctor because the M&Ms he eats are building up inside him.
  • 1999-08-201999-08-20
    1999-08-20
    The Pillsbury Dough Boy plays chess with Mrs. Dough Boy, but it's a stalemate.
  • 1999-08-191999-08-19
    1999-08-19
    Apples watch The William Tell Story because it's targeted at their demographic.
  • 1999-08-181999-08-18
    1999-08-18
    A hermit crab has nightmares about losing his shell in public.