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  • Wife tells fish husband to stop cleaning glass of tankside that looks out to pretty goldfish next door.
  • Instead of Miller Lite, Swiller Flite beverage makes you use the bathroom often.
  • Instead of Jell-o, Fell-o provides an instant person with soylent green.
  • Instead of Three Musketeers, the One Musketeer candy bar isn't for sharing.
  • Walrus Teeth floss is the size of rope.
  • Owner finds piggy bank empty but pig wearing fancy jewelry.
  • Shirt in bar is warned by pants that sock is clingy.
  • Pez dispenser visits chiropractor as contents are out of alignment.
  • Helen tries to annoy mother-in-law by buying her only sealed pistachios.
  • Full service ATM disperses lollipop to child while mother does banking.
  • Easter bunny is wrongly accused of Humpty Dumpty's death after confessing to his color dyeing.
  • Easter Bunny's massage, just like eating a chocolate bunny, starts with the ears.