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  • Cat used to play with mouse before eating it.
  • James Bond has to remember to not say "shaken not stirred" when ordering champagne.
  • Yoda fails at New Year's resolution to speak using proper sentence structure.
  • Beer mug becomes frosty when boyfriend calls her stout.
  • Cars find past year disappointing because they thought they'd be flying now.
  • Rather than run through maze, rat fishes for cheese.
  • Elves wonder who took the last slice of pizza.
  • Dog cries over bowl present being empty.
  • Ostrich mistakenly looks to commiserate about not flying to other animals who can fly.
  • A zombie' advent calendar is the game Operation.
  • Jesus can't believe his photo of two fish and 5 loaves of bread got 5000 shares.
  • Fruitcakezilla is indestructible.