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  • Mouse researchers try to build even more inefficient mouse traps.
  • The secret to Twinkies' long shelf life is Dick Clark's DNA.
  • Head lice are worried about receding hair.
  • Scientists will remove 90% of suffering and distress from humankind by getting rid of the lawyer gene.
  • A professor is trying to figure out what should go in the blank of "Running around like a ____ with its head cut off."
  • Pavlov's dog keeps drooling as he gets older.
  • A geneticist switches from DNA to jean splicing when his pants split at the butt.
  • Frankenstein calls IT to get help putting in his monster's brain because they know how to install memory.
  • A cryogenics lab sends clients who can't pay to a frozen meat shop.
  • UFOs try to construct the perfect Earthling using DNA from powerful and popular people, but the DNA they collected is all from ugly or stupid famous people.
  • A scientist studies the relationships and arguments between different drugs.
  • Oscar the grouch, Barney, Sylvester and Eeyore pick unsuitable jobs that end their careers.