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  • Bob Dylan gets an electric lawn mower.
  • Smokey Bear's wife puts up a sign saying her and her husband's bedroom is a smokey-free environment.
  • The Betty Rubble Center provides rehab for troubled cartoons.
  • Head lice are worried about receding hair.
  • Beach vacation photos used to have crabs biting a man's foot, but now they have a needle stabbing his toe.
  • A dog goes on a patch so he'll stop being addicted to chasing cars.
  • Barney the Purple Dinosaur kicks kids out of the way to get to his morning coffee.
  • A turkey disguises itself as an endangered owl so the farmer won't kill it for Thanksgiving.
  • The Green Giant is embarrassed that he has to buy medication to control his crab grass.
  • The Green Giant dies and is buried in a giant compost bin.
  • A cryogenics lab sends clients who can't pay to a frozen meat shop.
  • A man without health insurance goes to a beach littered with needles and pill bottles to feel better.