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  • How cartoon characters' careers ended.
  • A dad tells his daughter to sit farther back from the TV while he's close to his computer screen.
  • Kirk can't sleep, so he shoots himself with his phaser on stun.
  • The Dog Channel shows leather collars, choke chains, and body harnesses for dogs.
  • A snake eats 4 of the dalmations in 101 Dalmations.
  • A TV sitcom director asked for canned laughter but has canned ham thrown at him.
  • A man is bitten to death by sound bytes from news channels.
  • A praying mantis housewife watches a show about how to cook her husband.
  • A news anchor reports that Pinocchio's nose is smaller and his skin is lighter because he's had plastic surgery.
  • Spanky from the Little Rascals has grown up and now does BDSM phone sex.
  • Gumby has a lapse in judgment and gets a full body massage, emerging all bent up.
  • A news anchor reports that the farmer's wife has been arrested for killing three blind mice.