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  • Scotty beams up Kirk's toupee, but nothing else.
  • A cat hurls himself into a TV because it was showing The Best of Little Scampering Rodents.
  • Lois Lane marries Superman.
  • All surgeons can afford to give the six million dollar man is a single extra-strength fingernail.
  • Mulder and Scully discuss their exes.
  • Amoebas complain that TV these days is nothing but senseless viruses and gratuitous dividing.
  • The mayfly newspaper has births and obituaries of the same flies in one issue.
  • A cat is mad at his date for bringing him to a foreign film captioned in meows.
  • A cat tries to get a dog fixed for April Fool's.
  • Gumby sits in the waiting room of a gum disease specialist.
  • How cartoon characters' careers ended.
  • A dad tells his daughter to sit farther back from the TV while he's close to his computer screen.