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  • Humans have Running of the Bulls, but bulls call it Running of the Butts.
  • An egg does a cannonball into a pool, facilitating the invention of egg drop soup.
  • Regular people do extreme sports like driving with a car full of balloons and eating leftovers from the back of the fridge.
  • Mickey Mouse sneaks off to go bowling with the ball hidden in his ears.
  • If Shoeless Joe played today, he would stop using his nickname and go for endorsement deals.
  • A man's bike measures lots of factors, from speed to his odds of ever fathering a child.
  • Mark takes the day off and lets his family come up with cartoon ideas.
  • A man chokes on a golf ball and spits it into the hole and his friends don't know how to score it.
  • The Pentagon, the WWF, and Jerry Springer collaborate on a project to launch folding chairs from a cannon.
  • The author lists what he learned from the cartoon Peanuts.
  • A man drinks a pitcher of light beer and has to pee immediately.
  • A zamboni at a hockey stadium has a bucket for teeth attached.