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  • A man gets a ruptured spleen phone and a Sports' Most Violent Injuries tape with his subscription to Sports Illustrated.
  • Pinocchio's barber uses a hammer and chisel to trim his hair.
  • George Hamilton goes to the Betty Ford Center, but can't kick the tanning lotion.
  • Scotty beams up Kirk's toupee, but nothing else.
  • Fish wear a costume to pretend to be the Loch Ness Monster.
  • A cat listens to a record of can openers from around the world.
  • R2D2 has a nightmare of being smelled by lots of dogs.
  • A carrot stripteases by peeling her skin.
  • Lois Lane marries Superman.
  • The characters in the Wizard of Oz get run over, so they decide to follow the yellow brick sidewalk.
  • Dust mite horror movies have feather dusters in them.
  • Exiting the men's room, the scarecrow wishes he had some bran.