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  • Autocorrected New Year’s texts spells noise maker noses, talkative champagne babbles, angry midnight mad knight & happy new rear butt implant surgery.
  • Doctor diagnoses chimney soot covered Santa Claus’ Christmas season flue flu illness.
  • Chanukah dreidel tells insomniac dreidel spinning in bed warned it to slow down at party.
  • Doctor assures Christmas tree that red dangly things are common symptoms this time of year.
  • In hospital, Rudolph mistakenly gets all of Operation Man's parts taken out.
  • Couple therapy snowman says pushes button covered husband often but has tons.
  • Dracula monster excited hospital I.V. blood transfusion refills empty patient.
  • Dog husband in marriage therapy complains wife stops wagging tails first in relationship.
  • Optometrist tests patient eyesight reading menus in dark restaurants lighting.
  • Cartoon character rehab for far gone Far Side, rick-rolled Rick & Morty, too many bowls Captain Crunch, conditioner overdose Rapunzel, Garfield confused Heathcliff, impulsive Awkward Yeti Heart, Toy Story Piggy Bank needs change & Simpsons Krusty not funny haha.
  • Peanuts comic Charlie Brown zig zag striped shirt straightened after chiropractors appointment.
  • Optimistic shriveled hospital balloon survives months longer than doctors anticipated.