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  • A praying mantis can't list her kids as dependents because she ate them.
  • A spider and a woman in the shower each think the other is the ugliest thing ever.
  • Praying mantis bumper stickers have jokes about eating other mantises.
  • Head lice are worried about receding hair.
  • A professor is trying to figure out what should go in the blank of "Running around like a ____ with its head cut off."
  • A caveman getting hit by giant bugs invents the windshield.
  • A fish surrounded by broken alcohol bottles has a headache and swears he'll never eat another tequila worm.
  • A cat tells her frisky boyfriend that he needs to wear a flea collar for protection during sexual intercourse.
  • A praying mantis housewife watches a show about how to cook her husband.
  • The insects a fly and a butterfly don't like the World Wide Web or the 'Net.
  • Two lice think Dennis Rodman's hair dye changes are the seasons
  • The Green Giant is embarrassed that he has to buy medication to control his crab grass.