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  • A field is full of four-leaf clovers because a radioactive power station is nearby.
  • The old woman who lives in a shoe makes it more aesthetically pleasing with feng shui.
  • Humans are to aliens what dinosaurs were to humans -- fuel.
  • The three blind mice became blind because they looked at the sun with binoculars.
  • Cat recycling has three bins: feathers, tiny bones, and beaks.
  • Housecats go outside for the first time.
  • A spider doesn't like having to wash insecticide and peel stickers off fruitflies.
  • Mark updates nursery rhymes for the modern age.
  • A woman is hospitalized after a man unbalances and drops chemicals on her.
  • NASA's solar mission reveals that walking on sunshine is terrible.
  • Birds make fun of Gene Roddenberry and poop on his car.
  • A car's wife complains that his emissions are so stinky he should see a mechanic.