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  • A dog warns a puppy that he'll never view thermometers the same way again after the vet.
  • The groundhog's wife sees his eye shadow, so he's in for a long cold winter.
  • A snowman buys Preparation I to get rid of icicles on his butt.
  • A camera tells his wife to stop complaining about her hot flashes.
  • The truth about dandruff is that it's debris from flea parties.
  • Santa loses his pants while going down a chimney.
  • A snowman pathologist disappoints a snowman cop because his DNA tests are inconclusive because no two snowflakes are the same.
  • A girl spins a dreidel for the first time while a twister forms outside her house.
  • History's least challenging job was making a map for Noah's ark.
  • Noah's Ark is unbalanced because the hippos and elephants are making it tilt.
  • Papa Bear sues Mama Bear.
  • A cannibal cooks a can of Cannibal's Soup.