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  • Bedbugs drive to the warm side of the pillow when they go on vacation.
  • A woman goes into shock after seeing her boyfriend's dirty shower curtain.
  • A mosquito tells a vampire he has dibs on a woman's blood.
  • A caterpillar's date goes upstairs to change and takes forever because she's turning into a butterfly.
  • Researchers discover new forms by looking in the fridges of single men.
  • Amoebas who divide will be seeing more of each other.
  • A woman thinks people look like ants from the top floor of the genetic engineering facility, but really they're giant ants.
  • A flea goes on vacation to a dog's tail and comes back dizzy.
  • A shark tries to get into a diving cage with a bottle opener.
  • Cootie, sitting on a bald man's head, radios to mission control, located on a full head of hair, about unhospitable environment, including a harsh glare.
  • Lucy, the blood cell, runs off with another blood cell in the artery, while Tim, the blood cell, waits in vain - in the vein.
  • Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".