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  • 1997-07-021997-07-02
    1997-07-02
    Genetic engineers design apples that grow with the little sticker already on them.
  • 1997-06-201997-06-20
    1997-06-20
    The Pillsbury Dough Boy gets covered in penicillin mold.
  • 1997-06-011997-06-01
    1997-06-01
    Mark updates nursery rhymes for the modern age.
  • 1997-05-291997-05-29
    1997-05-29
    Amoebas complain that TV these days is nothing but senseless viruses and gratuitous dividing.
  • 1997-04-251997-04-25
    1997-04-25
    The secret to Twinkies' long shelf life is Dick Clark's DNA.
  • 1997-04-141997-04-14
    1997-04-14
    Piranhas are mad that flesh-eating bacteria are cutting in on their territory.
  • 1997-02-271997-02-27
    1997-02-27
    Scientists will remove 90% of suffering and distress from humankind by getting rid of the lawyer gene.
  • 1997-01-231997-01-23
    1997-01-23
    A geneticist switches from DNA to jean splicing when his pants split at the butt.
  • 1997-01-111997-01-11
    1997-01-11
    A manager tells an employee to put moldy old bread in the gift aisle as "Chia Loaves."
  • 1996-11-091996-11-09
    1996-11-09
    Two lice think Dennis Rodman's hair dye changes are the seasons
  • 1996-10-231996-10-23
    1996-10-23
    GMO foods and household items mutate to have hands, feet, and teeth.
  • 1996-09-151996-09-15
    1996-09-15
    A cryogenics lab sends clients who can't pay to a frozen meat shop.