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  • Inmate wonders when his cell mate's long run-on sentences will be over.
  • William Tell's son gets bull's eye mark from Lyme's Disease as father shoots at apple.
  • Man in bathroom stall has no toilet paper and hopes there is an app for it.
  • Peel-free bananas are safer fruit since you won't slip.
  • Dr. Gray explains how life is a box of chocolates with DNA nougat.
  • Monkey surpasses man's texting ability by having four thumbs.
  • Research testing done to determine if yawns are contagious to animals.
  • Parody of Silence of the Lambs with cannibal butterfly.
  • Man eating meat thinks flesh-eating bacteria are gross.
  • Veterinarian finds ticks and dog become anxious.
  • Grim reaper in training starts small with yogurt with live cultures.
  • In bar, one cellphone doesn't like another cellphone's tone.