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  • Auto salesman asks melted Frosty the Snowman puddle on test drive if he likes car’s heated seated feature.
  • Santa Claus in sleigh thinks incompetent elf unevenly filling heavy, light & empty toy bags was grocery employee before.
  • Shaving company complains bearded Santa Claus hired to promote razors but contract didn’t say shave face.
  • Dad tells undressed son hanging clothing Christmas stockings by fire it’s not how holiday presents work.
  • Naughty kitty on laptop hacks owner’s pets names website password to order mice, catnip, empty boxes & tuna fish.
  • Man sees full moon & rips clothes pretending to be a werewolf but wife says should have said he didn’t like shirt.
  • Lady at toilet stall complains jumpsuits are a challenge & annoyed mummy thinks cry me a river.
  • Dracula at liquor store says wine customer’s birthdate was a good year.
  • Supermarket produce bins sell habanero, poblano, cayenne & invisible ghost pepper varieties.
  • Gruesome undead monster wears mindfulness mediation slogan shirt chasing man in cemetery.
  • Cat on massage table squishes body flat to avoid confused masseuse’s hands but says it’s fun.
  • Boyfriend wears garish clashing clothes because cat napping in basket prevented washing laundry.