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  • A man standing in the fires of Hell can handle the heat, but the noise of the smoke detectors going off drive him crazy.
  • Spider tells psychiatrist how female spider lit a cigarette, looked him in the eye, and said they didn't call him "itsy bitsy spider" for nothing.
  • If people looked like breath smelled, first boss is dog, subway man is onion, some people are cigarettes, 8th grade teacher is pile of poop.
  • Frying pan on stove burner is screaming at top of lungs because it is a talking frying pan and being burned.
  • Man tells son he is listening to the very best of America and it is a list of first responders and o
  • Boy thinks smoke alarm is a dad cooking alert.