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  • Donuts are made by shooting a cannonball through the Pillsbury Doughboy.
  • A pig smoking cigarettes is smoked ham; a pig on the nicotine patch is a cured ham.
  • Nicotine gum happens when Gumby smokes too many cigarettes.
  • Luke Skywalker accidentally stabs his face with his light saber while trying to put a flashlight under his face to look scary.
  • Godzilla's mom lights the top of a cake factory on fire for his birthday.
  • A tree falls and no one hears it.
  • Aliens ruin a birthday by putting out a woman's cake with a fire hose.
  • A dad notices Mr. Potatohead has switched from smoking a pipe to having a nicotine patch.
  • The cartoon lists things that prove you might be old.
  • An asteroid hits Jerry Lee Lewis.
  • A funeral director asks a chicken widow how crispy she wants her cremated husband to be.
  • Santa gets trapped in his sleigh, but rescue workers get him out with the Claus of Life.