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  • An ugly cartoon sues a cartoonist for drawing him badly.
  • The green giant gets an artichoke heart to replace his old heart.
  • Gumby's wife's ultrasound shows that she's pregnant with a stick of gum.
  • Rocky drinks Humpty Dumpty before rescue workers come to fix him.
  • The Jolly Green Giant's wife gets fertility treatments of moss, mulch, and compost.
  • Doctors use puppets to scare a woman giving birth on April Fools.
  • A woman's hard drive is erased by a powerful magnate.
  • A man who poisoned himself asks for an antidote, but his wife reads him an anecdote instead.
  • Godzilla replenishes his electrolytes by eating the GE building.
  • A dog warns a puppy that he'll never view thermometers the same way again after the vet.
  • A piece of grass gets bitten by a horse, but it'll be okay because it was only grazed.
  • A snowman buys Preparation I to get rid of icicles on his butt.