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  • Man eating meat thinks flesh-eating bacteria are gross.
  • Man can't stay awake when his resolution to cut back caffeine is successful.
  • Rudolph the Reindeer reaches for tube of Preparation N to treat his shiny red nose.
  • Turkey had plastic surgery to get peacock tail feathers.
  • A man researches his symptoms online and concludes he has a sprained uterus.
  • Woman reads Chicken Flavored Tofu Soup for the Vegan Soul.
  • Heart monitor display for etch-a-sketch inventor looks like etch-a-sketch drawing.
  • Woman is beast feeding in pubic, as opposed to breastfeeding.
  • Patient afraid as nurse takes blood with vampire-like syringe fangs.
  • Parents cringe as children trick-or-treat with bags that have calorie counters.
  • Police investigate death of Heimlich who is stuck in a bear's throat.
  • In fish hospital emergency room, fish thought hook was swing and has worse injury.