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  • A dog doesn't want his friends to mark his cast.
  • Picasso's X-rays show a Cubist style skull.
  • A shark switches to attacking people in lakes because his salt intake was too high.
  • A man's opthamologist tells him he has an eye for talent when his eye scan is full of famous cartoon characters.
  • A man gets a green fungus disease, but it's on St. Patrick's Day.
  • An annoying straw at a party is the last to leave.
  • Mr. Potatohead needs to eat more starch.
  • A bacterium wears a t-shirt that says "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger."
  • A man has a dream every night that a stinky fish is crushing his chest, but actually his cat is sitting on his chest and breathing on his face.
  • A doctor gets an eye test using a chart with bad handwriting.
  • A clown's doctor tells him he's too fat and needs to get hit in the face with lower-calorie pie.
  • A man complains that his wife forced him to go to the doctor, but he has a ladder imbedded in his head.