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  • Bad cat scratches, claws and gets in owner’s way committing reckless endangerment, obstruction, destruction of property and hand slaughter crimes.
  • Dog uses cellphone GPeeS global positioning system directions app to find spots to urinate.
  • Yawning Rip Van Winkle awful stinky morning breath knocks out village and forest animals.
  • Dog is a motion detector when barking out window and an emotion detector when comforting sad owner.
  • Cat judge sentences guilty cat on trial to 16 blocks inside a moving car.
  • Anteater waiter serving ants from antfarm to anteaters on date that restaurant’s food is farm to table.
  • Worried man shaped like fireplug hydrant tells date opening door he’s not looking forward to meeting her dog.
  • Oscar the Grouch describes raccoon trashcan thief suspect to police sketch artist on Sesame Street.
  • Man asks woman walking dog if he’s friendly and smartphone pings with social media friend request.
  • Cat psychologist tells patient in therapy to relieve stress by patting its fur and saying how cute it is.
  • Self-centered cats shop in greeting cards store for Valentine’s for themselves.
  • Sloth shows off -6 steps counted on fitness tracker smartphone app to impressed sloth hanging from tree.