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  • Gross dog archaeologist has 5 Century Rule to eat medieval garbage artifacts dug in hole.
  • Annoyed waitress owner asks cat knocking salt shakers off table if it’s 8th time it asked for salt.
  • Finicky kitties scratch furniture, curtains, rugs, screens & clothes but ignore pets’ scratching posts.
  • Lady allows adopted small puppy to sleep on bed but it grew bigger squishing crowded owner.
  • Kids searching for hidden Easter eggs stolen by Ninja Sloth confused when all are missing.
  • Cat on couch watching T.V. says already saw spot on the wall but will watch it again.
  • Misbehaving kitty thinks man petting stomach will soon be bit unexpectedly.
  • Superhero kitty saves Earth from evil fireball enemy in hot sunlight sleeping cat’s dreams.
  • Hurt ears cows band say music needs more cow bell & less painfully loud bull horns.
  • Fingerprint touch ID opens owner’s Iphone, Tush I.D. ass identification unlocks dogs’ phone.
  • Cat audience applauds hibernating bears doing nothing for months at a time presentation.
  • Autocorrected St. Patrick’s Day texts change shamrock to shame rock, green beer recycling bear, chocolate pot not of gold & St. party trick card tricks saint.