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Pg 259 of 260

1992-03-20

If people looked like breath smelled, first boss is dog, subway man is onion, some people are cigarettes, 8th grade teacher is pile of poop.
1992-03-19

Cat feels like his birthday is uneventful, not knowing that right around the corner, a box of 50 pounds of catnip fell out of truck.
1992-03-05

Hockey referee tells announcer the penalty is on number 8, it's 2 minutes for ruffing, and number 8 is a dog.
1992-03-03

Two cats on date, one cat thinks the other is embarrassing because he ordered white wine with gerbils.
1992-02-24

Man gives presentation about changing next year's cat calendar to reflect real life, such as January: Spunky coughs up furball, March: Clyde misses litterbox.
1992-02-04

Woman admires cat using the scratching post, but cat is thinking he has to sharpen his claws for the new drapes.
1992-01-27

Woman at dinner table tells guest not to mind Rufus the dog, he's being possessive because man is eating from bowl Rufus usually eats from.
1992-01-14

Wife doesn't understand why husband's cat allergies bother him when cats are locked in other room, fails to see cat hair covering everything.
1991-12-30

Boss cat upset with employee cat, Crowley, for taking another three catnip lunch, demands key to executive litterbox.
1991-12-24

Santa is upset because it is Christmas Eve, and he has a flat, the flat is a deflated reindeer.
1991-12-16

Cat dining in restaurant orders Christmas special, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge, but hold the pear tree.
1991-11-29

Man tells wife, Emma, they are returning the Alpo aftershave because dog has him in his mouth.