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  • Kittens use the Mother Goose search engine to search for their mittens.
  • The three blind mice became blind because they looked at the sun with binoculars.
  • A woman thinks her household needs a more natural, organic diet, but her cat has already eaten her fish.
  • A cat scans people to figure out who to shed on.
  • A dog tells another dog that cacti are sort of like trees and sort of like fire hydrants, but that he should stay away from them.
  • Dogs think people wear shoes to break them in as chew toys.
  • A dog doesn't like having to download and print a newspaper because it takes too long to make somewhere to poop.
  • Dogs get creepy phone calls that are just heavy purring.
  • Regular people do extreme sports like driving with a car full of balloons and eating leftovers from the back of the fridge.
  • Mickey Mouse sneaks off to go bowling with the ball hidden in his ears.
  • Cat recycling has three bins: feathers, tiny bones, and beaks.
  • An elephant is embarrassed to buy memory enhancer at the pharmacy.