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  • Quasimodo programmed his cell phone to have the same ring as the bell.
  • A Michael Jackson CD comes with an extra nose in it.
  • A New Year's virus deletes all of the old acquaintances from your computer.
  • Sharks just want their twenty-two front teeth for Christmas.
  • Flies think that a disco ball is the sign for an optometrist.
  • A torturous descent into Hell is accompanied by the song 'It's a small underworld after all.'
  • A man plays a tape of pool sounds to make his neighbors think he has a pool.
  • A CIA agent's cat sleeps on the keyboard and writes cryptic emails.
  • An expectant hyena listens to comedy tapes that are supposed to be good for the kids.
  • A Rube Goldberg machine will make pizza for your kids.
  • A woman reads a magazine about cloning next to magazines about similar-looking musicians.
  • Rush Limbaugh stays off the beaches because he'd have to use sunscreen liberally.