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  • Pinocchio slays vampires by staking their chests with his long wooden nose.
  • The Pentagon, the WWF, and Jerry Springer collaborate on a project to launch folding chairs from a cannon.
  • Someone makes origami out of Gumby.
  • Blue from Blue's Clues sings the blues.
  • People become rich and poor so fast these days that Robin Hood doesn't know who to steal from any more.
  • A bat parent watching TV complains that prime time is just guano jokes these days.
  • How cartoon characters' careers ended.
  • Jerry Springer says his guests are going to talk calmly and rationally on April Fool's Day.
  • Spock uses a plastic hand to give himself the Vulcan nerve pinch to get to sleep.
  • Leprechauns now host game shows instead of giving gold to people who catch them.
  • Regis Philbin gives his final answer to the Grim Reaper.
  • Dirty Harry meets his idol, Pig-Pen.