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  • Man thinks passenger with book envies ereader, but she keeps reading during flight.
  • According to truth-in-vending policies, the snack machine is labeled "double or nothing."
  • In post-game interview, chess piece says it was moved by the win.
  • Boy mistakenly buys "Diary of a Wimpy" instead of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid."
  • Girl responds that taking the feedback survey was least favorite part of amusement park.
  • Man uses his crazy eights face as his poker face isn't good.
  • Duck's Twitter followers were her ducklings, but others joined in.
  • Cat caught climbing birdcage stand tries convincing owner it is pole dancing.
  • Crossword designer speaks in crossword puzzle when meeting new woman.
  • Son can't afford to visit mother who lives on Monopoly's Park Place.
  • Lawyer advises the Human Torch to wear a t-shirt with a warning that he is hot.
  • Salmon add phrase "when upstream" to fortune cookies instead of "in bed."