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  • Charlie Brown plays virtual reality games where his life is better.
  • The man who invented heat-seeking missiles was inspired by his cats.
  • A dog warns a puppy that he'll never view thermometers the same way again after the vet.
  • An invention we could really use is a mute button for can openers we can use when opening cans of pet food.
  • A dog's wife catches him looking at filth on the internet.
  • Snoopy buys ground chuck with a pattern like Charlie Brown's sweater.
  • Dogs say corny things to each other.
  • Dogs visit the canine self-help section.
  • A girl is going to have trouble passing her assignment because her dog ate it -- and so will the dog.
  • A cat complains that his chicken and shrimp dinner is different from his owner's.
  • A cat has a hangover after New Year's because he tore open his cat toy and ate the catnip.
  • Dogs have to wear antiperspirant on their tongues because that's how they sweat.