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  • Groundhog auditions or casts shadows to play the role of his shadow.
  • Before Paradise Lost, John Milton wrote Pacifier Lost.
  • Book suggest it's easier to find women with a dragon tattoo than without.
  • All the paintings collected for Occupy Wall are baroque or broke.
  • Latte cup is late for board meeting.
  • Fisherman catches pollock that looks like it was painted by Jackson Pollock.
  • Dog cuts cone shaped cookie dough to eat with protective cone.
  • Scallops are jealous of seashells whose job is being mermaid's bra.
  • Mrs. Claus is angry with Santa for going to old girlfriend's house on Christmas Eve.
  • Man thinks he can swipe painting like touch screen tablet to see next one.
  • Witness describes criminal exactly like artist creating the sketch.
  • Downward pointing tail reveals inconsistent message about presentation.