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  • A man thinks he's stronger because his Christmas tree feels lighter, but it's lighter because its needles fell off.
  • A belt sees a psychiatrist, not sure it can handle the extra pressure of the holidays.
  • A piece of grass takes yoga classes and ducks under the lawn mower.
  • An octopus uses an economy size deodorant.
  • The Bluebird of happiness takes Prozac as a performance enhancing drug.
  • A little girl does more stretches during a half hour cartoon than her mom's friend does in three months of yoga.
  • A bird gets stuck while trying to reach a sunflower seed.
  • A snake goes on a diet to cleanse its body, but looses its venom in the process.
  • A pear doesn't let genetics determine its shape.
  • Toothpaste tubes remember when they looked good in the morning.
  • A snowman goes to a body sculptors to get his weight redistributed.
  • SpongeBob switches in round pants when he hits middle age.