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  • Snake's new diet is to tie itself into a knot to restrict eating.
  • Big pigs tell wolf he's got the wrong pigs.
  • Mother says thin daughter inherited her skinny genes.
  • 5-hour Enemy parodies 5-hour Energy drink.
  • After racquetball, a man has a racket bawl because exercising made him sore.
  • Flies do laps in pools of soups of the day.
  • Woman thought snowman would be muscular when he said he was built.
  • Tower of Pisa runs on treadmill to stay lean.
  • Snake asks husband if swallowing whole hamster makes her butt look big.
  • Pear's figure is improved by working on his core.
  • Manufacturer gets pot for chicken pot pie by removing pot bellies off chickens.
  • Reindeers' return trip isn't easier because Santa gains weight back with milk and cookies.