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  • A man get's a lion's share of meat and the lion is angry.
  • A piece of wood can't fit into her jeans because she's no longer a 2x4.
  • A snowman inverts his body to make it look like he lost weight.
  • The groundhog is scared of his shadow because it makes him look fat.
  • A beefeater reveals that he's actually a vegetarian.
  • Santa considers someone's spandex stocking cheating.
  • The marching band practices on treadmills because it's raining and they needed to practice inside.
  • In desperate attempt to lose weight, woman cuts hair.
  • Turkey's yoga class pays off as he avoids ax.
  • Shark won't eat butt because he is on a gluteus-free diet.
  • Zombies watching The Walking Dead feel bad because they don't exercise enough.
  • Abner liked that he could swim laps alongside his toupee.