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  • Robot tells waitress she doesn't want anymore coffee because she is already wired.
  • Couple is unhappy with photographer who used to be a guillotine operator because their heads are cut off in the picture.
  • Wife tells husband, Albert, that expandability is a good feature for computers, not husbands, just as he has his mouth open extremely wide to eat an entire piece of cake.
  • The Earth, surrounded by satellites in space, says that he feels like he's being watched.
  • Husband faxes wife dirty diaper and asks for clean one in return because he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper.
  • Fish upset because camera isn't working, missed another photo opportunity, there's fish in front of him with hook on both sides of stretched out mouth.
  • Advertisement for Birthday Go-Away, a medicine that guarantees to keep birthdays away, only apply once a year, you never age another day, dial 1-900-DREAM ON.
  • Husband tells wife about "undo" feature on computer, wishes life had same feature for if something gets broken, cheat on wife, say something stupid.
  • Assembly plant has difficulty fitting satellite dishes in cars for satellite radio.
  • Computer informs that music subscription download time may be a while due to legal battles.
  • The elves show Santa an advanced surveillance operation to keep track of who's naughty.