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  • Shopper sees bags honestly labeled squirrel seed in store, not bird seed.
  • Planets in solar system has Uranus called Doug, no one was surprised he changed his name.
  • Smartphone asks to open blood pressure health app before presidential votes news.
  • Woman with fang tooth houseplant asks other woman why called succulents.
  • Smartphone at party says it’s tired of hearing about phone’s hang ups.
  • Man tells person locked in metal case their phone has good privacy settings.
  • Cat compared to smartphone wakes sleeping owner, wails music out window, entertains catching bug and is difficult to find.
  • God watching funny cat videos on smartphone asks angel if he missed anything as Earth cries for help from 2020 virus and disasters.
  • Birdwatcher on smartphone bird translator app reads target approaching as singing birds prepare to poop.
  • Criminal consumers arrested for eating sharing size candy, playing Words With Friends game with strangers, coffee in a tea cup and blowing nose on toilet paper.
  • Firework with smartphone weather app sees sudden 1200 degree heat rise Fourth of July hourly temperature forecast.
  • Woman on laptop uses opening can and shaking treats noise cat finding program to call missing pet.